BREAKING: Cody Guarantees Victory In League Championship Game

NEW YORK — In a move that is sure to up the drama of Championship/Anthem Weekend to new heights, this afternoon League owner Cody Daily guaranteed that his So Much Honey squad will emerge from his championship bout with Jacky G with his name etched into The Trophy.

Surrounded by a swarm of reporters at The League’s Media Day, Daily announced that he couldn’t care less about the talking head’s opinions, he just wants to kiss Ol’ Glory. When the League News Network recited the hot takes of the day from Stephen A. Smith (“the only thing Cody’s beating this week his meat!”) and Skip Bayless (“If Diesel went a round in the hay with Ernestine I’m not worried about him passing on the clutch gene to any future stepchildren”), Diesel laughed it off. What broke the camel’s back was hearing that arch nemesis Mike Francesa said he wasn’t man enough to guarantee a victory.

“It’s my turn to be on the throne. I’m not worried about what anyone has to say,” Cody snapped back. “My team has gotten me this far and they will lead me to victory.”

The League News Network then congratulated Cody on proving Francesa wrong as usual and guaranteeing the win. Daily responded simply, “Thank you, and thank you to The League for a great season.”

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