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Previews / Recaps / Awards

The 2022 League Championship (and Anthem Bowl) Preview

We have at last reached the culmination of the 2022 season, the 20th year of The League’s illustrious history. The stage is set as we prepare to crown not only this year’s champion, but to place the toilet seat of shame around the neck of this year’s Toilet / Anthem Bowl loser. The stakes are as high as it can get. Who will claim (or reclaim) Ol’ Glory? Who should take it easy on those vocal chords this offseason? Let’s take a look at the matchups.

The League Championship Game

1. Dear Leader (10-5) vs. 2. Frank The Tank (10-5)
Current Lineups
Tale of The Tape

In Frank’s rookie League season way back in 2007, he put together what is still to this day the best season of his career, a 13-2 romp to the Championship. The owner he beat that day? None other than the Commish.

Of course, no one would blame you for not knowing or remembering that detail. Nor would anyone blame you for not remembering that Commish started Willie Parker at RB that day, who broke his foot in the 1st quarter. I didn’t even remember it; I had to look up why slick Willie put up a goose egg just now. But everyone remembers Frank starting Peyton Manning and Randy Moss, and winning the title in his debut season. Not only because he never lets you forget it, but because in this game of ours we remember the winners. The losers become just a bit of trivia.

Fast forward 15 years to the present day and once again these two teams will face off with the Championship on the line. There is a lot at stake here legacy wise of course, with Frank looking to become just the second back to back champion in The League’s history and Commish looking to equal the mark at the top of the Championship standings. But when you boil it all down, it really just comes down to that same old question: which team will be remembered, and which team will be forgotten.

The projectors and Vegas are having a hard time figuring that out as well. Currently the Commish is a slightly less than 4 point favorite, which may as well be a toss up. That line would almost certainly be bigger if not for the main story heading into tonight’s Thursday night matchup, the benching of Dear Leader’s team MVP Derrick Henry because of a scheduling quirk that essentially makes tonight’s game meaningless for the Titans. The Commish will likely turn instead to Isaiah Pacheco, who of course shares the backfield with Frank The Tank’s RB2 Jerrick McKinnon. It will be fascinating to see how that matchup breaks out.

Henry was Commish’s counter to Tank’s RB1 Josh Jacobs, but with Henry out there is some question about who will slide into the RB1 role for Dear Leader, a proposition that was laughable just a few short weeks ago. Season long Rb2 Aaron Jones had given Commish one of the top backfield pairings in The League, but with Jones’ role and health seemingly up in the air it looks like it will be a game time decision at whether Jones or AJ Dillon gets the nod. Frank obviously doesn’t have a choice but to start Jacobs, but there is some uncertainty in that matchup as well with the Raiders benching Derek Carr in favor of Jarrett Stidham, which should up Jacobs workload but may wind up with him facing stacked boxes all day.

Under center, the defending champ will be trotting out the tried and true Patrick Mahomes, holder of the mythical high floor, high ceiling status. The Commish got burned last week by getting a floor game from Justin Fields, but appears to be ready to gamble on Fields ceiling again in this one given the game script uncertainty for backup Dak Prescott.

If The Commish is going to stop Frank The Tank in his tracks, it will likely have to come from the strength of his receiver trio of Chase, Lamb, and St. Brown. Chase’s Monday night matchup might be must see TV if the game is still in play. Frank will counter with DeVonta Smith, who had seen his production steadily creeping up before his eruption on Christmas Eve with Minshew under center. Frank will hope the pairs chemistry continues, while hoping the Thielen/Cousins connection turns back the clock and finds pay dirt. Frank is currently lining up Courtland Sutton in the flex, in a matchup where he should at least see a very positive game script.

At TE, even with Commish’s Kittle on a hot streak, you just can’t pick against Travis Kelce. The clear League MVP, Kelce continues to show week after week that anyone questioning that pick was foolish. Hell, he may go even higher next year (seriously, can we not let Frank get him again?)

Big picture wise this is a fascinating matchup between two teams who have pretty clearly been two of the best if not the best teams throughout the course of the season, but who achieved those results in very different ways. Frank bludgeoned teams with Kelce and Mahomes, a combo no one could match, while finishing them off with Josh Jacobs explosions. Commish attacked from all angles, getting just enough from the QB and TE positions that Frank thrived in while being primarily driven by top end talent at the skill positions. The Tank will try to roll to a second straight title using the same formula he has all year, while The Commish will have to use his depth and rely on his air support to but a final end to Frank’s assault upon The League. The battle begins tonight.

The Anthem Bowl

7. 2Cups1Bladder (formerly known as MiddleOfSpineHurts) (7-9) vs 8. So Much Honey (7-9)

Now to the matchup everyone REALLY cares about, the 2022 Anthem / Toilet / Last Place / These Guys Suck at Fantasy Bowl. For the first time, the two turds racing to the bottom when The League hits the flusher are the 7 and 8 seeds, who missed the playoffs on a tiebreaker loss and have continued to collapse further into a den of despair and misery of their own making.

When you get to this point in the season, desperation is the name of the game, as evidenced by Ya Boy hitting us with the 11th hour name change in an attempt to shake things up. Lets hope he didn’t resort to any animal homicides as well.

In the other corner is Mr. Honey himself, who’s found himself in a bit of a sticky situation by blowing his load way too early in the season and finding himself unable to get back up to par as time runs out on 2022.

The downward spiral these two find themselves in is shocking, given where they found themselves in the standings not too long ago. But the season can flip in an instant, and flip it has, with Cody dropping 5 of his last 6 and Mark catching the L in 6 of the last 7.

Vegas has Mark as a 15+ point favorite in this one, on the back of Josh Allen, Ekeler and Chubb. Cody will counter with Waddle, Zeke, and Mark Andrews. But question marks litter the rest of each squad, with Mark’s weak point being wide receiver and Cody’s being at RB with the loss of Pollard.

Mark did put up a good fight last week but took a tough loss to Vaf while Cody has been out and out bad, so if we’re judging based on recent performances give the edge to Mark. A loss would push Cody into the exclusive multi-Anthem club of Jay, Vaf, and BJC. But funny things tend to happen in the Anthem Bowl, and if Mark does manage to lose his 7th out of 8, he will find himself singing for his country and the rest of The League’s amusement for the first time come late August/early September.

Good luck to the participants, and let’s all hope the race to the bottom provides some fireworks on Monday night.

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Previews / Recaps / Awards

The 2022 League Semifinals Preview

2. Frank The Tank (9-5) vs. 3. Koo Kupp Klan (9-6)
Tale of the Tape
Current Lineups

Last week Nick put an end to Jay’s Cinderella run, mugging him in the street and coming away with a 117.9 to 104.6 victory. I hope he stole the carriage and the glass slippers as well, because he’s going to need them in this matchup against the defending champ. The books and projections have Frank as a sizable favorite in this one, and the reason starts at the top, with League MVP runner up Jalen Hurts sidelined, leaving Nick to turn to Gardner Minshew in this do or die matchup. Minshew certainly has the capability to put up a respectable or better outing, but doesn’t offer near the upside that Hurts did with his legs, turning what may have even been a slight edge for Nick in the QB matchup to a big advantage for Frank The Tank and Patrick Mahomes.

Where Nick is hoping and looking to make up ground is at the skill positions, particularly WR. If there’s been one weakness for the Tank this season, its been at the wideout spot. Devonta Smith and Adam Thielen have both been solid but ultimately unspectacular, ranking as WRs 18 and 27 respectively. It’s currently unclear how the move to Minshew will affect Smith, and Thielen has been largely TD dependent this season. On the flip side, Nick will run out Mike Evans and Terry McLaurin, who rank as WRs 17 and 23, but may offer a bit more upside than Frank’s crew; Evans in particular feels due for a big game.

The RB position is one that should see some sparks fly. Aside from QB, the ground game has been one of the strengths of Nick’s team this year, where he will be handing the ball off to the bellow duo of Rhamondre Stevenson and Kenneth Walker III. We talked about KWIII’s season after he was named Steal of the Draft, but Stevenson has been equally impressive in solidifying his spot in a Patriots backfield that has historically been near impossible to solidify, and ranking as the overall RB10 while doing so. Across the way though, Frank The Tank’s RB duo looks even more formidable than it did even just a few weeks ago. Of course Josh Jacobs has been an explosion waiting to happen every single week, and is the overall RB1 and MVP runner up. The pick in the 3rd round drew a few puzzled reactions, but has left Frank laughing all the way to the Semis and drawn a bunch of retroactive think pieces from so-called fantasy experts trying to figure out how they whiffed so badly. All that is well and good, but what has really put Frank over the top the last couple of weeks has been the emergence of Jerrick McKinnon not just as a Mahomes check down option but as one of the main drivers of the Chiefs offense. Rb2 was a weak spot for Frank as little as a month ago, and now it is one of his biggest strengths.

Of course, TE was a huge mismatch on paper coming into this one, as it is whenever Frank and Travis Kelce square off against anybody. But Nick rolled out Evan Engram on Thursday, who gave him one of his best TE performances of the season at 14+ points. Cutting into that perceived advantage for Frank is a great first step if Nick is actually going to pull off this upset. But of course, Kelce can drop a 30 burger on you in the blink of an eye.

So yes, this seems like an uphill battle for Koo Kupp Klan on paper. But Nick didn’t earn the How Are You Still Alive Award for no reason; he’s been as tough to kill as they come. This week, we’ll see if an actual Tank can do the job. A trip to the Championship Game awaits whoever is left standing when the dust settles.

1. Dear Leader (9-5) vs. 4. 2 Feets In (9-6)
Tale of the Tape
Current Lineups

Jack entered his Wild Card matchup with Meade as a huge favorite, and he exited that matchup with the world realizing why. He easily advanced, dispatching Meade while barely breaking a sweat in his 105.76 to 69.4 victory, setting the stage for a highly anticipated matchup with The Commish’s Dear Leader squad. The books have this one as a near toss up, with Dear Leader ever so slightly favored but one shift of the wind could blow that right back the other way.

Looking at the QB position, its tough to pick who has the advantage (which will be a theme in this matchup). Commish will likely send out Justin Fields in the frigid Chicago weather, while Jack will counter with Tua in the balmy Miami breeze. Weather wise you can say 2 Feets In has the advantage, but Fields always poses a huge threat on the ground.

Things don’t get any clearer at the skill positions, with both teams fielding the top WR trios in The League. 2 Feets In is powered of course by League MVP runner up Tyreek Hill, AJ Brown, and DeAndre Hopkins, while Dear Leader will trot out Ja’Marr Chase, CeeDee Lamb, and Amon-Ra St. Brown. Again, this one is a toss up that might have been decided by AJB and Hopkins playing with backup QBs, but they’re talented enough to overcome that and that weather will once again affect Chase and ASB for the Commish.

On the ground, both teams’ RB1 are near tops in The League, with Jack’s CMC squaring off against Commish’s Derrick Henry. On paper you might say the one clear edge in this matchup goes to Dear Leader at the RB2 spot, where he’ll feature Aaron Jones against 2 Feets In’s Rachaad White. But Jones has ceded his goal line work and a bunch of carries in recent weeks to AJ Dillon, while White has been solidifying his role in the Bucs backfield.

And finally at TE, Commish would seemingly have the advantage with George Kittle, inconsistent as he’s been, squaring off against Jack’s “tight end” Taysom Hill. But with the weather in the Saints matchup featuring 40 mph wind and well below zero wind chill temps, the Saints figure to be keeping the ball on the ground a ton, which of course is a recipe for success for “tight ends” like Hill.

The teams are as close as it gets on paper, and they seemed destined to meet in the postseason. And here it is, on Christmas weekend, yet there’s only a present for on of them under the tree. Who gets the gift of heading to the ‘Ship and who gets nothing but a lump of coal? We’ll find out in the hours to come.

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Previews / Recaps / Awards

2022 League Awards

The Playoffs and Anthem Bracket are in full swing, but before we dive in to this week’s high stakes holiday matchups let us take some time to reflect on the regular season that has just passed. That’s right, it’s time to hand out the 2022 League Regular Season Awards. Congratulations to this year’s award winners (or in some cases, sorry). Drumroll please…

Manager of the Year: Jason R. Hennin, I’ll Show You Tough

This one may not be much of a surprise, but it is certainly well deserved. Though his Cinderella run was cut short in the Wild Card round, Jay Hey navigated his I’ll Show You Tough squad from a 2-7 start to a 7-7 finish, stunningly reaching the postseason after he was left for dead. And this was not some sort of passive, luck driven turn around. Jay actively worked the waiver wire and the trade block each week, taking risks and making moves to continue to improve his team and his chances when all hope seemed lost. An all in all fantastic managerial job, and a lesson to all of us to play through the whistle.

Runner-up: Commish

Most Valuable Player: TE Travis Kelce (Frank The Tank)

This one isn’t much of a debate either. Frank grabbed Kelce with the 7th pick in the Draft, and he was worth every single penny of that draft capital. Week in and week out Kelce provided Frank with a gigantic advantage over the rest of his opponents, as Kelce’s 234 points on the season have nearly doubled the next closest tight end’s. There simply isn’t a bigger mismatch in The League, and Kelce has propelled the defending champ right back into another title chase.

Runner-ups: Jalen Hurts (Koo Kupp Klan), Tyreek Hill (2 Feets In), Josh Jacobs (Frank The Tank)

Steal of the Draft: Kenneth Walker (Round 9.4, 101st overall, Koo Kupp Klan)

Much has been made of Nick’s faith in the Zero RB strategy as he won the West and has advanced into the Semifinals. And at the heart of why the strategy paid off so handsomely is his selection of rookie sensation Kenneth Walker III at the 101st overall pick. Walker ranks as the RB14 on a per game basis, but that’s only because he played a backup role in the first few weeks. After being named the starter in Week 5 until getting hurt in Week 13, Walker averaged over 18 ppg, which would be good for RB5 on the year. From a guy picked in the middle of the 9th round, you can’t ask for a better ROI. An absolute heist of a pick.

Runner-ups: Jamaal Williams (Round 13.5, 149th overall, Dear Leader), Tony Pollard (Round 6.11, 71st overall, So Much Honey), Tyler Lockett (Round 9.9, 105th overall, Feed Me MOORE), Christian Kirk (Round 9.2, 99th overall, So Much Honey), Garrett Wilson (Round 11.5, 125th overall, Dear Leader)

Bust of the Draft: Jonathan Taylor (Round 1.2, 2nd overall, So Much Honey)

This one was tough to decide between the winner and the chief runner up. There were no colossal busts in the first 2 rounds of the draft this year, but there were certainly a handful of highly disappointing picks. And none were more disappointing than last year’s clear RB1 and 2nd overall pick in the draft Jonathan Taylor. Injuries certainly played a part in this, but even when Taylor was on the field he failed to love up to his draft billing, ranking as only RB20 on a per game basis, and RB25 overall. And those rankings are propped up by a half decent stretch towards the end of his season (he just went on IR); from weeks 2 through 9 in the games he did suit up, he averaged a mere 7.6 points per game, not even flex worthy. A mid range RB2 who you can’t even start half the year is not what you have in mind at the top of round 1, where you expect to get an absolute set and forget stud. Ultimately, the spent draft capital at a spot where you expect to get an absolute stud trumps the 3rd round whiff on Pitts at a position that got no consistent production from anyone all year except Kelce.

Runner-ups: Kyle Pitts (Round 3.4, 28th overall, Koo Kupp Klan), Allen Robinson (Round 3.12, 36th overall, Meat Mavens), Najee Harris (Round 1.10, 10th overall, Outatime), D’Andre Swift (Round 2.4, 16th overall, Feed Me MOORE)

Waiver Wire Pickup of The Year: Tyler Lockett ($5, So Much Honey)

After coming close to winning Steal of the Draft, Cody notches a positive award to offset the negative one above. Grabbing Tyler Lockett off waivers for a mere $5 has to leave the rest of The League scratching their heads, no one more than Vaf who actually drafted the guy. Lockett ranks neatly as WR13 on a per game basis, and cost Cody zero draft capital and less than a week’s worth of waiver dollars. This one actually isn’t all that close, Cody picks it up in a laugher.

Runner-ups: Chris Olave ($8, Feed Me MOORE), Justin Fields ($0, Outatime), Christian Watson ($12, I’ll Show You Tough)

Survivor Champ: Commish, Dear Leader

This one was decided back in Week 12, but just like Jay’s team this year, he proved very tough to kill. But now Jay’s death row appeals have finally run out, and it is time for the final execution of the 2022 season. For the crime of a Week 11 low score of 109.8 points, Jason Hennin has been sentenced to death, by any means necessary.

The ” I Didn’t Hear No Bell” Award: Ryan Olsen, Outatime

It was a season to forget for Olsen, who started off 1-1 and then lost a remarkable 9 straight games, one shy of the all time longest losing streak in League history. But rather than throwing in the towel, even with all hope at the postseason lost and a bye in the Anthem Bracket all but clinched, Olsen decided to honor The League’s integrity and fight till the very end. With nothing on the line but pride, Outatime went out guns blazing in the Wild West the final 3 weeks, playing spoiler to the playoff hopes of then-division leader Marky Mark, dragging Vaf down into the mud with him, and then calling his shot and completing the mini sweep of the division by knocking off division winner Nicky Diamonds and ensuring he didn’t get a bye.

The “How Are You Still Alive?” Award: Nicholas Panepinto, Koo Kupp Klan

The Fantasy Gods threw everything they could at Diamonds this year, but he continued to overcome the obstacles all the way to (at minimum) The League Semifinals. It starts of course with number 4 overall pick Cooper Kupp, but Nick also lost 3rd round pick Kyle Pitts to IR, Kenneth Walker for multiple games in the final divisional push, and Khalil Herbert to IR. And to make matter worse, he’s now dealing with an injury to Team MVP Jalen Hurts. Still, Nick kept trucking along to a division title, a testament to the depth he managed to accumulate in the draft. Lets see this week if he can overcome his toughest battle yet.

The Luck of The Irish / Horseshoe Up His Ass Award: Anthony Barlotta, The Meat Mavens

Another runaway victory, there really was no one else who competed for this award. In fact, there’s a strong case to be made that even though Ant wound up missing the postseason, he may have had the luckiest season in League history. Consider the following:

  • Ant’s average points per game this year were over 16% worse than The League average, the 8th worst mark in history and the worst in the last 11 seasons. The rest of the bottom 14 in League history in that statistic went a combined 41-131-2 (average 3-10 season), with no one winning more than 4 games. Ant somehow won 7 and finished the year at .500.
  • Of course, all of that is with a pretty huge uptick in production the last 4 weeks, where Ant posted a couple of 100 point games. From weeks 5 through 10, he averaged 74.4 points per game, never crossing the century mark, only once scoring more than 90, scoring less than 70 3 times, and putting up an astounding 46.8 point performance in Week 8. He somehow won 2 of those 6 games (if he had played every team in The League every week during that stretch, he would have won 7 games and lost 59).
  • Ant posted the lowest score in the League 4 times, and the second lowest score another 3 times, meaning that for half the season he was either the worst or second worst team in The League, and yet he somehow won half of his games!

And of course, the cherry on top, Ant will be sipping Pina coladas out of a coconut this week watching 4 others fight it out for the Anthem. Tip o’ the cap to ya Maven.

The Involuntary Blowout Badge of Dishonor: Shaun L. Meade

For the second year in a row, Meade earns the League’s lowest honor, given to the League owner who shows the lowest standards of ethics and integrity and behaves in the most despicable and disgusting manner. Once again, Meade showcased what can only be a complete absence of integrity or idiocy with his inane roster moves, just recently failing to make a waiver move for a QB leading up to a playoff game and continuing to roster 3 backup RBs from the same team well into the week.

Worst of all however is his brazen and open attempts to jinx his opponents into an injury. Regardless of how you feel about the Fantasy Gods, superstitions, and all that comes along with that, there is a line that Meade habitually crosses in attempting use the dark arts to injure players on other teams. He refuses to attempt to win straight up, focusing more on engaging in borderline beastiality with cats than, I don’t know, working the waiver wire and maintaining the competitive balance of The League, for which others have rightly been lauded in this awards ceremony.

In what can only be described as karma, Meade got his comeuppance at the end of the year, losing his QB to injury in each of the last 3 games, blowing the Central division and a first round bye, and going down with barely a whimper in the first round of the postseason. A fitting end, and a blaring neon sign to change his disgusting ways. But he’ll probably sleep through it and be right back in this position next year.

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Previews / Recaps / Awards

2022 Playoff Preview

Play in background for ultimate experience

For two decades, The Men of The League have fought and battled for the opportunity that now lays in front of just six of them. When first they set out on their quest there was a full dozen, their fates as fragile as the soft shells of eggs within the carton. Little by little, one by one, cracks began to appear; chinks in the armor. For some, the cracks became akin to a hole on a ship, taking on water, sinking their fortunes to depths of the ocean of the 2022 season. For yet others they battled on, knowingly weakened, yet unwilling to succumb to the rising waters until at last they were overcome by the endless onslaught of waves. And then there were six, six that did not yield to the cracks but instead turned them into scars, each one a reminder of the toil and sacrifice it took to get to this very spot.

Six men stand before you now upon to the precipice of greatness, battle tested and sharpened as they begin their ascent upon the mountain of the 20th postseason in The League’s illustrious history. Danger and peril awaits them all; pain and heartbreak inevitable for all but a lucky one of their number. One by one they will fall, from dizzying heights to unfathomable depths. The higher they climb, the worse the fall. Nevertheless they are propelled ever onward and upwards, driven solely by the sliver of hope, the dream, that they will be the one not to fall, but to rise, impossibly higher, until at last they reach the glorious mountaintop and look out over the vast expanse of the 2022 season, king of all that they survey.

Who will be that One? The defending champion, the memory of completing the perilous climb just last year still fresh in the minds of The League as the fallen snow, looking to do what no one has done in over a decade? The commissioner, having vanquished a postseason drought, aiming to even up the score at the top of The League’s championship count? The diamond in the rough, having won the shootout in the West with a quick draw and an even quicker trigger, seeking yet again to reach the peak for the first time? The newly minted father of 2, matching the number of his feets in, with a roster built and managed with nothing but the climb in mind? The bumbling buffoon, stumbling into the postseason for a remarkable fifth year in a row, powered by his idiocy, lack of integrity, and attempts at dark magic? Or the ultimate fighter, showing us all the definition of tough by weathering the fiercest of storms and somehow still arriving at the base of the mountain with as good a chance as any to make it all the way to the top?

Over these next two and a half weeks we will inch ever closer to the answer to the question, the only certainty being that five will fall, and one will rise. Tonight, the climb begins.

Welcome, gentlemen, to the 2022 League Playoffs.

3. Koo Kupp Klan (8-6) vs 6. I’ll Show You Tough (7-7)
Tale of the Tape
Current Lineups

Our first matchup pits the winner of the West against the lowest seeded but hottest team in the dance. Nicky Diamonds Koo Kupp Klan squad played a lot of games without its namesakes, but still managed to win the hotly contested West, capturing Nick’s 5th career division title (second of all time behind Vaf’s 6). When asked about the accomplishment, the grand wizard was floored. “Wow,” he stated, “I was not aware of that statistic and feel some pride having proof of my labors”.

The proof is in the pudding, as they say. After starting off the year 2-4, Koo Kupp Klan rattled off 4 straight victories and entered the last round of divisional play having all but erased the divisional deficit he found himself in in the early going. And in the next two weeks, he managed to knock off a surging Vaf and then take down early favorite Marky Mark to clinch the West with a week to spare. The roster, built on the back of the controversial zero-RB strategy, enters the postseason with a nevertheless formidable RB duo in rookie sensation Kenneth Walker and banged up NE bellcow Rhamondre Stevenson (Stevenson’s status will be one to monitor closely heading into the weekend). Veteran receivers Mike Evans and Terry McLaurin are frequent fliers in the fantasy postseason and will lead the aerial attack in this one. But the engine of the team is found under center, where MVP candidate Jalen Hurts provides a floor/ceiling combo at QB unmatched by anybody left on a postseason roster beside perhaps Mahomes.

Diamonds credits a lot of this season’s success to his disappointment from last year and how that fueled his performance at The Draft: “This division title means a lot because after falling short of the mark last year, I made sure to prepare and have multiple strategies in place for this years draft. It’s easy to bail on a 0 Rb strategy in a panic, but I stayed the course and have been rewarded with a division title and playoff berth.”

Of course a lot of the zero RB strategy was tied into first round pick Cooper Kupp, who was more than living up to his draft billing before losing his season to injury. But that’s in the past, and Nick isn’t dwelling on it heading into what’s sure to be a tough battle against a foe who has seemingly had his number of the years. “Injuries are inevitable and it’s never easy losing your first round pick who was performing as such,” Nick said, “but we have no choice but to press on!”

On the other side of this matchup sits Jay Hey, currently in the midst of a run for the ages and unquestionably the hottest team in The League over the last month+. Jay began the year 1-6, and then ultimately 2-7, despite scoring over 100 points in 7 of those 9 games and over 110 in 5 of them. 3 of those 7 losses came by less than 1.5 points. After such a string of bad luck, it would have been easy for the team to fold up shop. But Jay kept his team focused. “I told my team to take the approach to do whatever it takes to win,” Jay said. “The close losses really sting but you have to keep fighting until you’re eliminated.” And while the team kept fighting, Jay himself kept fighting to improve the team, making a series of trades to help stave off that final nail in the coffin. “Once I had loss #7 I knew we were 1 more loss from the season being over. I made some big trades that led to performances that saved my season. I thought given my points scored -if we ran the table & got a little help, we could force my way into the playoffs”.

Compared to some other teams in the postseason, Jay’s roster is almost unrecognizable when compared to the one who came out of the Draft with. There were 8 trades in The League this year, and I’ll Show You Tough was involved in half of them. In fact if you look at Jay’s projected starting lineup in this one, it features only 2 players not acquired via trade or free agency. Tee Higgins was traded away, spent a couple weeks playing for Olsen, and then traded back! But all the moves helped shore up a roster that produced the third most points in The League and rattled off five straight wins to stunningly claim the final playoff spot. Even Jay himself didn’t start to believe what was happening until later on. “Since I knew it was win out or bust – I probably didn’t fully buy in I could do it until maybe week 13 vs. Meade,” Jay confessed. But, “once you get hot you really start to think you’ll find a way to get in done each week.”

And find a way he did, led by the high flying receiver trio of Justin Jefferson, Chris Godwin, and the aforementioned Tee Higgins. Joe Burrow, on fire of late, has provided a huge boost behind center. And one of the best defenses in the league in San Fran has been an overlooked factor in Jay’s run as well. As miraculous as the last 5 weeks have been, Jay is turning to focus to the future and his matchup with Diamonds. “This run has been awesome but I’m trying to not celebrate too much or too early because the hardest ones are ahead. I guess there’s only one thing left to do…. Win the whole fuckin thing.”

4. 2 Feets In (8-6) vs 5. Lobster Beesc (8-6)
Tale of the Tape
Current Lineups

The 4/5 matchup has heavy favorite Jacky G matching up against against a Meade-led squad that some pundits say deserves to be in the Anthem Bracket. Jack’s 2 Feets In squad got off to a bit of a slow start this year, but League analysts remained high on the roster throughout. And after a 2-4 start, their faith was rewarded.

From weeks 7-13, 2 Feets In won 6 of its 7 games, averaging 121.6 points per game over that span, including a 188 point outburst in Week 8 that represents the second highest single game score in League history. A few surprise losses from defending champ Frank The Tank during that stretch pulled Jacky G neck and neck for the division lead heading into the final week of the regular season, with the winner of the matchup set to claim the East and the coveted first round bye. Unfortunately for 2 Feets In, the Tank proved too much to overcome, leaving Jack with the wild card and a a date with Meade in the first round of the postseason. It was for sure a disappointment for 2 Feets In, but Jack told League reporters that the team plans to regroup with the help of “beer, wine, and hope.”

And one look at the roster shows that there is certainly reason for hope. The wide receiver trio of Tyreek Hill, AJ Brown, and DeAndre Hopkins can only come close to being matched by one or two teams (if that) in The League. First overall pick CMC is back in form, and looks right at home in the San Fran scheme which treasures the run and quick passing game at which he excels. RB2 Dameon Pierce is a bit banged up, but he’s backed up by solid depth in Rachaad White and Jeff Wilson. Tua has manned the QB spot and figures to do so should he advance further, but at the moment Jacky G appears to be playing the matchup with Mike White in the wild card matchup. Put simply, the weak points aren’t really weak, and the strong points are as strong as any in The League. All that adds up to 2 Feets In still being one of the favorites to take home the crown and an overwhelming point spread in his matchup this week (Yahoo has him as a 15ish point favorite, while Vegas has the line reaching into the 20s).

For his part, Jack isn’t taking Meade lightly. Informed about the expectations and the large point spread, Jack brushed it off. “You’re only as good as your last performance so we aren’t feeding into the point spread,” Jack said. “We feel like underdogs in this matchup but are ready to fight.”

On the other side of that fight is Meade’s Lobster Beesc, a seemingly perennial playoff mainstay. Meade has now piloted his team to the playoffs for the fifth straight year, even if his methods have drawn the ire of his fellow League members and offend the Fantasy Gods. Meade started off the year 4-2 and then 7-3, battling for the division with Commish the whole way. Throughout it all, the win-loss record seemingly justified his questionable roster moves and duplicitous use of the dark arts, as he openly rooted for injuries to his opponents. Indeed, he won 3 games over a 5 game period in which he failed to top 100 points. Alas karma would rear its head in Week 14, where a battle with the Commish with the Central and a bye on the line ended with a season ending injury to Beesc QB Kyler Murray on the first drive of MNF, effectively ending the matchup and ceding the division to Dear Leader. But even though he lost the division, Meade still managed to grab the 5 seed with while ranking 8th in The League in points.

Even though the numbers haven’t been impressive, Meade still has the horses to make a deep run, perhaps even a 3rd championship run. Stefon Diggs can go toe to toe with any WR in the league, Miles Sanders is quietly one of the top RBs in fantasy, and Mike Williams returning from injury gives Meade that crucial third weapon that nobody wants to go up against. The Kyler Murray injury hurts, as does Meade being seemingly oblivious to the utilizing the waiver wire to secure his replacement to a pivotal playoff matchup. In fact as recently as yesterday, Meade was still rostering a QB with a torn ACL, and three backup Seattle RBs. When questioned by reporters, Meade responded that “one of you put a curse on me just right now I can feel it. I started sneezing uncontrollably.”

Meade’s bizarre behaviors and lack of integrity didn’t stop there. When reporters asked last night why Meade had Travis Homer in the starting lineup even though Kenneth Walker was slated to play, Meade responded that “Homer isn’t gonna start believe it or not. The art of war is deception Klu.” Asked what Sun Tzu had to say about about him being a fucking moron and not putting a claim in for a QB, Meade said “lol I hate you guys.” Still, as early as this afternoon Meade had Travis Homer in the starting lineup, seemingly unaware that his planned “deception” scheme relied on him being aware that the Seahawks played tonight and not this weekend. As of this writing, he is still rostering the Seahawks, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th string RBs.

We’ll see if Meade is able to pull off the upset in this one. The odds may not be in his favor, but he is without a doubt the odds on favorite to win his second straight “Involuntary Blowout Badge of Dishonor” when the 2022 Regular Season Awards are announced this weekend.

That does it for the 2022 Playoff Preview. Good luck to all the participants in this week’s matchups. And of course, please remember that the Anthem Bracket will not show up appropriately on Yahoo. This week’s matchups are:

7. MiddleOfSpineHurts (7-7) vs. 10. Brainbusters (6-8)

8. So Much Honey (7-7) vs. 9. Meat Mavens (7-7)

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Week 12 Playoff Odds & Scenarios

With 11 weeks in the books, we have come full circle back to divisional play. Just 3 games remain, but 11 teams still have hopes to break into the dance. Lets start with the clinching scenarios for this week before diving into the odds:

Week 12 Clinching Scenarios

  • Frank The Tank can clinch the EAST with:
    • a WIN AND
    • 2 Feets In LOSS
  • Frank The Tank can clinch at least a WILD CARD with:
    • a WIN AND
    • a MiddleOfSpineHurts LOSS AND
    • a Koo Kupp Klan LOSS
  • Dear Leader can clinch at least a WILD CARD with:
    • a WIN OR
    • a 2Feets In LOSS AND
    • Brainbusters LOSS AND
    • MiddleOfSPineHurts LOSS AND
    • Koo Kupp Klan LOSS

Additionally, the Commish has clinched at least a tie for a wild card spot (total points would decide), and Frank and Meade can do the same with a win this week, regardless of what else happens around The League.

Playoff Odds

At the top, we should mention that 9 wins will guarantee a postseason spot. That means that if you currently have 6 or more wins, you control your own playoff destiny. 8 teams are currently at that level. 3 teams (Mavens, I’ll Show You Tough, Feed Me MOORE) are still alive but will need help. Only Olsen is outright eliminated.

It is possible, but extremely unlikely that a 6 win team can sneak into one of the wild card spots. A minimum of 8 wins will be needed to win the East and Central, and a minimum of 7 wins will be needed to win the West.

One final note, “Clinch %” below means the odds that a team will clinch a playoff spot without a point tiebreaker deciding it, and Tie % means the odds that a team ends up tied for a playoff spot with a points tiebreaker deciding it. Obviously, the more points you have the better your odds of succeeding in that tiebreaker scenario. Tie or Better % means exactly that, percentage chance you either clinch or tie for a playoff spot. Miss % is the odds you are eliminated outright without a chance to win a points tiebreaker.

Overall Odds

East Division

Defending champ Frank The Tank is in a commanding position as we enter the final 3 weeks of divisional play. While he holds only a 1 game lead over Jacky G and BJC and a 2 game lead over the Maven, his 2 game cushion in divisional record (and 300 point cushion over Ant) effectively means he will win any tie at the top of the division standings. For him to not win the division, his challengers will not just have to catch him, but pass him. In 75% of scenarios, he winds up winning the division.

Jacky G and Brian aren’t out of the mix just yet, but as mentioned they will need to pass Frank in the standings and that means winning out alone won’t guarantee them the division. 3% of the scenarios also see both of them tying at 8-6, with Frank losing out and points breaking the tie at the top. Jack currently has the advantage there.

Finally, the Maven ain’t dead yet! If he wins out and Frank loses out, he would take the East. That’s pretty much his only chance however given they points discrepancy.

Central Division

Out in the Central the odds are stacked a bit differently. Even though The Commish currently has a 1 game lead over Meade and a 2 game lead over Cody, his 1-2 record inside the division means that he will have to maintain that lead in order to win the Central. While he does so in 57% of scenarios, that’s still little better than coin flip odds.

Meade has a slightly less than 1/3 chance of making up the deficit and claiming the Central crown, but he does control his own destiny. However, if Cody can fight his way to a tie at the top, he would win the division based on division record, which happens in about 10% of scenarios.

Jay has been eliminated from the division race.

West Division

Marky Mark and Nicky Diamonds are tied for the lead out in the West, with a 2 game cushion over Vaf who is fighting on for dear life, but its Mark with the advantage at the moment given his 3-0 division record. All he needs to do is force at least a tie at the top of the division and he’ll win it without having it come down to points.

Nick will need to outpace Mark to win the division, but he also controls his own destiny in that regard. There is a 1 in 100 chance that Vaf can win out, Mark loses out, and Vaf and Nick wind up tied at 7-7 with points making the difference. Vaf would need to make up over 120 points on Diamonds to win there, but hey, it’s possible!

Wild Card
*Clinch/Tie% in scenarios where team doesn’t win division GB = Games Behind PB = Points Behind WC = Wild Card

As usual, the wild card spots are where things start getting, well, wild. The 3 division winners will take the top 3 seeds (with the top 2 of them getting the bye) and the next best 3 teams will take the 3 wild cards.

The Commish not winning the division and being in the wild card race is not ideal for anyone else competing for the wild card. Dear Leader has already clinched at least a tie of the last wild card spot and currently has a 92 point advantage. He wins a wild card spot outright 91% of the time he doesn’t win the division and is in a tie in the rest. He also has matchups against 3 of the other wild card challengers. Basically, if you’re not playing against the Commish you’re rooting for him.

The same is largely true for Frank, but not as clear cut. As Frank is a huge favorite to win the division, generally the wild card contestants should be rooting for him. However, for him to lose the division it would mean a pretty big collapse. In the 25% of scenarios where Frank doesn’t win the division, he fails to clinch a wild card outright in 60% of them. Basically, if Frank is thinking wild card instead of division, it means he’s probably been bad enough to let other wild card contestants jump or catch him. Unless you’re in his division you should still be rooting for him, but it might not kill you if he loses.

Mark is in a similar situation to Frank but worse, where if he doesn’t win the division he’s in danger of dropping out of the playoff picture entirely. In the 37% chance that Mark doesn’t win the West, he did poorly enough that he fails to clinch a fallback wild card spot outright in 95% of those scenarios, and fails to clinch at least a tie in about 60% of those scenarios. Rooting against Marky Mark if you’re hunting for a wild card spot is probably your best bet.

Meade is currently in possession of the 4 seed and the first wild card spot, with a 1 game cushion on the challengers chomping at his heels. Even if he does fail to win the division, he has a 72% chance of maintaining that lead. However, in 24% of the scenarios where Meade winds up tied for the last wild card spot, his points total figures to hold him back significantly.

Jacky G is one of 4 (5 if you count Mark) teams currently tied for a wild card spot at 6-5. He leads all those teams (except Mark) in points, meaning he is currently the 5 seed, however the lead is narrow over Nick and Cody. With the division setting up tough, his best bet to make the postseason is the wild card, which he clinches 36% of the time he doesn’t win the division. Another 35% of the time, he winds up in a tie for the final wild card, where he is well positioned to win a spot on points, as he currently is now.

Nicky Diamonds, tied with Mark atop the West but currently holding the last wild card spot, is in a similar situation to Mark where if he doesn’t manage to win the division means he most likely failed to win the division outright. He still clinches at least a tie in 56% of those scenarios however.

Brian’s odds are exactly the same as Jack’s, on the surface at least. Where he fails to win the division he still manages to clinch a wild card outright 36% of the time. However in the 35% of the time he ends up tied, he’ll have a bit more ground to make up in points given he currently sits 60 points behind the last wild card spot.

The Meat Mavens sit a game behind the 4 teams ahead of them for the wild card spot, which is of course a lot to overcome with only 3 games remaining and he has only a 7% chance to win a spot outright. While he has a 20% chance to tie for a spot, that number is massively deceiving given his current point deficit.

And finally, Jay and Vaf have near identical chances to clinch a spot outright, which is to say not much of a chance at all. Less than 1/10th of 1% actually. However, there is still a slim but not insane chance that they can pull off a tie for the last spot. Jay would be well positioned to fight for a points tiebreaker if it came down to that. Vaf not so much, but it’s not completely impossible.

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2022 Midseason Review / League Power Ratings

With lucky number 7 weeks of games in the books, we have officially crossed the halfway point in the season. In honor of the occasion, let’s take a look at the biggest storylines in the action so far before heading into the updated power ratings.

SCORING IS DOWN

Way down. The average score so far is just a tick over 105 points per game, and we have just started hitting bye weeks. That would mark the lowest scoring year since 2014, the last year before The League moved to full decimal scoring. In fact in the past four seasons, average scoring has not dipped below 110 points per game, with a peak of 115 in 2018. This downturn in scoring obviously follows the notable offensive struggles in the NFL, which has seen a number of Hall of Fame QBs and projected top offenses fail to hit their stride in the early going.

THE CHAMP IS UP

Much to all of our dismay, reigning champion Frank The Tank is the leader in the field as we hit the midseason point. Sitting at 6-1 and averaging a league leading 120.7 point per game, the Tank has been, well, a tank. Until Cody mercifully knocked him off in week 6, Frank had won a remarkable 13 straight games dating back to last season, a mark that hasn’t been reached in the “modern era” and not at all since 2006. While that streak is thankfully over, he may have begun another one with a thrashing of Olsen the following week. The Kansas City Franks are on a bye this week, but still tough to count him out just yet.

Nipping at The Champ’s heels are long time nemesis Marky Mark , led by a fearsome rushing attack of Chubb and Ekeler and QB cheat code Josh Allen, and the streaking Commish and BJC, who both started 0-2 but have ripped off 5 straight since. BJC traded Breece Hall away right before disaster struck and Travis Etienne seems poised to break out, but the Commish has lost new addition Ja’Marr Chase for at least the next few weeks thanks to disgusting actions by another League member that will not go unanswered.

HELL IN THE CELL-AR

While Frank sits at 6-1 and 3 other teams sit at 5-2, the battle to the bottom rages on between 3 teams stuck in the mud at 1-6. Injuries have ravaged Olsen’s 1-6 Outatime squad, who has barely gotten anything out of stud receivers Amon-Ra St. Brown and Keenan Allen this season and had missed games and injuries from several other key contributors. Vaf’s Feed Me MOORE has also had some injury struggles, but the return of D’Andre Swift may not be enough to save him from competing for a second straight Anthem. And Jay, well, he’s just been plain old fashioned unlucky. Sitting 5th in total points (higher before a mediocre showing this past week), Jay has lost a remarkable three games by less than 1.5 points, and then had to relive the 111-110.3 loss to Nicky Diamonds over again thanks to Yahoo’s stat correction debacle a couple of weeks ago. At this point for these three teams, what’s done is done. IF there’s any hope at the playoffs and avoiding the Anthem Bowl, it needs to start this week.

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

While 4 teams sit at 5-2 or better and 3 at 1-6 or worse, 5 teams are in the thick of the race to stay above .500, which history shows us is the mark needed to make the postseason. Nicky Diamond’s Koo Kupp Klan is a popular betting favorite to emerge blazing on The League’s unsuspecting front lawn, one of only 3 teams above 800 points scored. The Central features two teams at 4-3 in So Much Honey and the despicable, disgusting, Lobster Beesc. Ant, The League’s lowest scorer, has been opportunistic to stay at 3-4 but has lost 2 straight. But my dark horse is Jacky G’s 2 Feels In squad, which is only 3-4 but quietly looks like one of the best rosters in The League with the return of Deandre Hopkins and CMC’s trade to San Fran.

POWER RATINGS

  1. Frank The Tank (6-1) – 125.7
  2. Middleofspinehurts (5-2) – 118.7
  3. Dear Leader (5-2) – 114.3
  4. Koo Kupp Klan (4-3) – 110.7
  5. So Much Honey (4-3) – 106.2
  6. Brainbusters (5-2) – 105.0
  7. Lobster Beesc (4-3) – 101.2
  8. 2 Feets In (3-4) – 94.2
  9. I’ll Show Ya Tough (1-6) – 89.5
  10. Meat Mavens (3-4) – 85.5
  11. Feed Me MOORE (1-6) – 76.8
  12. Outatime (1-6) – 76.5
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2022 League Headlines, Power Ratings, and Notes – Week 4

Well boys, we are officially in the thick of it now. The Draft has come and gone, opening day is in the the rearview mirror, and the first big test for the 12 League members has been completed as we head into October with the first round of divisional play completed. With three games in the books the season is starting to take shape, teams are contemplating major shakeups, and storylines are starting to emerge. Lets take a look at the major stories in each division so far, before we break out the League Power Ratings.

THE EAST

We start of course with defending League Champion Frank The Tank, who is off to a blistering 3-0 start in his title defense. Led by the feared Mahomes/Kelce stack, Frank has swatted away all challenger in the early going, gaining an early 2 game cushion in the divisional race. Frank has now won 11 straight games dating back to last season, the longest winning streak of his career and tied for the second longest winning streak in the last 15 seasons.

Behind Frank are a trio of 1-2 teams all struggling to break out from the pack. Jacky G is the only team in the division to top 100 points in all three weeks, but has just one win to show for it. After an opening week win, the Maven hasn’t been able to top 91 points in either of the next two. BJC will carry a bit of momentum into week 4, after he finally got a W last week and snapped what was an 11 game losing streak dating back to last year.

THE CENTRAL

The only division without an undefeated team, The Central is certainly a bit murkier than The East. Tied at 2-1 each are Cody’s So Much Honey squad and Meade’s Lobster Beesc bitches. Meade made early waves in The League when he jumped out to a 2-0 start and accused other League members of being beholden to the Yahoo projections, while he himself has done nothing except start the highest possible projected lineup each and every week. Fortunately, he was smacked in the mouth this past week. Cody, meanwhile, has picked up where he left off last season, looking once again to insert himself into the playoff picture. After not making the postseason in his first three years in The League, Cody has reached the dance in 7 of the last 9 years.

Rounding out the bottom half are Jay and Commish, who made it there in very different ways. Jay is among the League leaders in points, but has been a bit snake bitten so far, dropping the last two. Commish lost the first two and finally came away with his first win of the year last week, but it wasn’t an especially impressive performance. Both teams made big trades with teams in the West this week, and hope to be Movin’ On Up in the standings quickly.

THE WEST

Pacing the Wild West are quite possibly the two best teams in the early going, Marky Mark’s Middle Of Spine Hurts and grand wizard of the Koo Kupp Klan Nicky Diamonds. Mark sits undefeated at 3-0, led by powerhouses Josh Allen and Nick Chubb. His team isn’t even firing on all cylinders yet. Meanwhile Diamonds has cruised out to a 2-1 start, the zero-RB strategy he employed in the draft working out to near perfection thus far as he sits second in The League in points scored.

Olsen’s Outatime might soon be outaplayers if the injury bug doesn’t relent soon. He’s missing three starters from the lineup this week in a crucial matchup with the Commish to try and get back to .500. On the plus side, the Tee Higgins acquisition looks like its already paying dividends. And rounding out the division is our most recent Anthem singer, Vaffy kid. After a narrow loss in week 1 that saw him score 130 points, it has been two straight weeks of poor showings. The Deandre Swift injury forced his hand into dealing for Jamaal Williams and Diontae Johnson this week in an effort to turn the tide on a ship that has lost 7 straight since last year.

And now to the Official League Power Ratings, 2022 edition. The League Power Rating, or LPR for short, is part of The League Historical Society’s efforts to compare teams not just today, but across the entirety of The League’s history. LPR measures average points per game (compared against the league average in points per game that season), ability to put up huge point totals while avoiding clunkers (high score + low score, again compared to the league average), and of course winning percentage. There are currently 194 individual seasons logged in The League’s database, and the average LPR is a nice even 100. Which is the point. So if your LPR is, say 110, that means you are 10% better than the average team not only this season, but in all season’s past. And if your LPR is 90, you’re 10% worse than the average team. The lowest LPR ever recorded is 69.6, and the highest is 141. The highest since 2007 however is 128.3. The ratings so far here in 2022

  1. MiddleOfSpineHurts – 125.5
  2. Frank The Tank – 124.1
  3. So Much Honey – 121.7
  4. Koo Kupp Klan – 119.4
  5. Lobster Beesc – 107.9
  6. Movie’ On Up – 99.9
  7. 2 Feets In – 95.9
  8. Outatime – 87.1
  9. Dear Leader – 84.6
  10. Meat Mavens – 81.9
  11. Brainbusters – 80.1
  12. Feed Me MOORE – 71.1

NOTE ON SURVIVOR

As you all know, there are currently three League members on death row for the crime of being terrible at fantasy football in the first three weeks: BJC, Ant, and Vaf. Their appeals have been rejected, and their executions will take place this coming Tuesday, at 9 AM, along with whoever else is terrible at fantasy football in Week 4. The manner of their deaths is TBD.

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The 2021 League Championship (and Anthem Bowl) Preview

After four months, it comes down to just one day. Ten of the dozen who embarked on the journey back in September have found their ships sunk to the unforgiving bottom of the League ocean. As the dawn breaks on this Sunday, January 2, 2022, only two still sail on towards the goal of immortality.

No Thursday nonsense. No Saturday bullshit. No, these two teams are going to duke it out on the high seas, one will win, one will lose, and it will all go down on a Sunday. The Lord’s Day. As the Fantasy Gods intended. Time to go to church.

1. FRANK THE TANK (10-5) vs 2. 2 FEETS IN (9-6)

It’s a classic 1 seed vs 2 seed matchup in the Championship, but these two teams journeys to the top seeds were anything but typical. Frank The Tank came into this year with his eye on avenging his Championship Game loss to Vaf from a year ago, but stumbled out of the gates; he began the season 3-5, 4 games back in the East and fighting for his playoff life. Since then he’s run off an astounding 7 straight wins, the longest win streak in his career, not only catching Cody en route to a stunning division title but claiming The League’s best record and earning his 5th career Championship Game Appearance. A career 1-3 in these games, losing the last 3, Frank has an opportunity to join the exclusive club of multiple time League Champs and etch his name into Ol’ Glory for the first time since 2007.

While not quite the same turnaround, not many expected Jack to have earned the Central Division and a bye back in the middle of the season. 2 Feets In was a middling 2-3 through 5 games and 3-4 through 7 games, struggling to stay above water in a division with a clear favorite in BJC who raced out to a 5-2 start. But then Brian’s collapse opened a crack in the door and Jacky G busted straight through it, winning 5 of the last 7 to close out the regular season and earn the division title and the coveted bye.

Both teams are coming off tremendous wins in the Semi Finals, where Frank’s team, overrun by covid, still managed to defeat Meade and Jack pulled off on epic comeback in a shootout against the Meat Maven who has still yet to win a playoff game that isn’t against Mark. Jack is the projections favorite in this one by 10+ points but both of these teams are capable of putting up fireworks, especially now that Frank’s stars return from the covid list.

As he has all year, Jack will rely heavily on his stable of wide receivers: Diggs, Allen, and Waddle are maybe The League’s most explosive trio of receivers. Dak seemed to get his groove back last week, Aaron Jones is always a threat to drop a 30 point game, and Sony Michel seems to have grabbed control of the Rams backfield. It’s not crazy to say that at a time when most teams are succumbing to the war of attrition, Jack’s roster might be at its strongest its been all season.

On the other side, Frank is also in pretty decent shape after weathering the storm last week. Kelce and Ekeler return to their featured roles, teaming up with a red hot Josh Allen to give Frank the type of firepower to match up with or overwhelm anybody at 3 different positions on the field. Mike Williams returns as well, and Frank’s stash of Ronald Jones paid off big time as Lenny Fournette went down to injury. The wild card here could be Odell Beckham Jr., who might get the start over a limited Mike Evans. Either way, that decision by Frank could turn out to be crucial.

There’s been projections, predictions, and prognostications all week but only one thing is for certain: at the end of the day, The League will have a newly crowned champion. Good luck fellas.

ANTHEM BOWL PREVIEW

11. Ressica Jobinson (4-10) vs 12. The Diamond Empire (3-11)

And now on to the real game. Just like the 1 and 2 seeds matching up in the Championship Game, the 11 and 12 seeds will match up in a scintillating Anthem Bowl matchup. Unlike the other game, this one was not much of a surprise as Diamonds and Vaf struggled to get anything going at all at any point this season. I could give you the rosters and break down the matchup and all that. But a) I’m running out of time and b) it wouldn’t exactly be a battle of the stars we’re talking about. I mean, these teams are here for a reason.

Vaf and Diamonds are both prior Anthem singers, and the loser of this matchup will join an exclusive list of multiple time singers. Vaf is looking to avoid the extra stain of becoming the first team to go from winning the title one year to singing The Anthem the next.

The Anthem Bowl has given The League some of its most exciting moments, and all we can hope for is that this game lives up to the hype. These two opponents have handled themselves with class all year en route to what seemed like an inevitable matchup and here’s hoping they are rewarded with one last bit of fantasy excitement before the year comes to a close.

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2021 Playoff Preview

As the temperature falls the tension rises. A dozen men embarked on a journey in early September, their spirits filled like sails from a warm summer breeze. Quickly their path was beset from all sides by obstacles large and small; broken bones, torn ligaments, disease, and bye weeks. As the seasons turned, the voyagers faced existential questions of the type fueled by crises, and the only answer left unconsidered and unacceptable was “turn back”.

No, for these men there was no turning back, no returning to the comforting shores of summer. You see, these men had made a commitment, to themselves, to each other, and to The League. For nearly two decades The League has trekked out on an annual pilgrimage, knowing full well the dangers lurking beneath the water, for the chance of attaining glory.

Ol’ Glory. That was the goal. Is the goal. Always and perpetually. Sure, the gold that comes along with it is a fitting reward. But gold is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. And only one man each year gets to etch his name into eternity.

The journey, like all journey’s past, became a war of attrition, claiming waiver wire pickups and first round picks alike without fear or favor. One by one they fell, their dreams dashed upon the rocks of poor draftings or swallowed by the ceaseless waves of injury. Far from etching their names into eternity, they were consigned to the ash heap of history. Nameless, faceless, another victim of the seas. Fish food (RIP Lenny).

After 14 arduous weeks, the voyage has claimed half the dozen. The other half remain, battered yet unbroken, weakened yet strengthened, weary yet energized. They can see the shore. They can see themselves pulling up to the dock of greatness. They can see themselves jumping off their ship of destiny and claiming the ‘ship of The League…

And then the dream fades into a haze. They look around at each other and realize that to make that dream a reality, they must turn these friends to foes and toss them callously into the sea like all the others, ignore the calls of their drowning fellows and sail ceaselessly and unswervingly towards glory. Because there can only be one. The journey continues, but the battle, why the battle, has just begun.

The 2021 League Playoffs has commenced. May the best man win.

3. The Meat Mavens (8-6) vs 6. Pastrami Papi (8-6)

The Meat Mavens exploded out of the gates this year, screaming out ahead of the pack to an incredible 6-0 start, the best in team history. Since then, however, the wheels have started to wobble and the check engine light has come on. After topping 120 points in 6 of his first 7 games, Tony has only topped 115 points twice since, failing to clear even 100 points in 4 of his last 6. All of this has added up to 2-6 finish. Still enough to win the West, but more than enough to hit the panic button.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Pastrami Papi, who started the season 2-4 but, after swindling the Commish in a trade to acquire Alvin Kamara and Chris Godwin for a couple of lemons, won 6 of his last 8. He comes into the playoffs among the hottest teams in The League, after a resounding win over tormentor The Knights of Ryan in a win and in Week 14 matchup.

Ant jumped out to an early lead last night behind a 170 yard performance from team MVP Jonathan Taylor. Starting 3 RBs, Ant will look to continue his gains on the ground with Chuba Hubbard and Miles Sanders in the flex. Deebo Samuel is always a threat to score, but the main player to watch for the Mavens through the air is probably DK Metcalf. DK has been slumping, his downturn coincidentally or not occurring around the same time Ant started racking up losses. Metcalf hasn’t reached double digits in points since Halloween, and Ant will need him to regain his form if he is going to advance in the postseason for the second time in his career.

Mark’s squad is powered by his ground game as well, with Alvin Kamara, Joe Mixon, and ascending rookie Javonte Williams forming a 3 headed monster in recent weeks that propelled him into the postseason. Chris Godwin has taken advantage of the absence of Antonio Brown to return to a primary weapon down in Tampa, catching 10+ balls in each of the last two games. Pastrami Papi faces interesting decisions at WR2 and QB, where he currently has Michael Gallup and Jalen Hurts plugged in. The other options are Christian Kirk and Taysom Hill. Maybe the decision won’t be crucial, but these coin flips often turn out to be game-deciding in close playoff matchups.

Ant swept Mark in the season series, and this game is a rematch of his first career playoff victory from last year. Can Mark turn the tide in this matchup like he did on the season as a whole?

4. So Much Honey (9-5) vs 5. Lobster Beesc (9-5)

It’s a bit surprising to see Diesel have to play in the wild card round, considering his 5-0 start and finishing the season as the overall points leader, but a quick peek behind the curtains shows you why. So Much Honey has been ravaged by injuries, with season ending ailments to Run CMC and Chris Carson causing his ship to leak like he’s being worked on by an illegal masseuse. Still, Cody has navigated the deluge of honey like the experienced pro he is, swallowing the sticky situation whole and continuing to rack up numbers.

Meade’s season was tinged with controversy over his absurd roster moves regarding Mark Ingram, drawing accusations that he lacks integrity. While that is undoubtedly true, for some reason the fantasy gods saw fit to bestow upon him a playoff berth. Meade’s had some low points this year, but he managed to rack up wins, including wins in 6 of his last 8 to comfortably reach the postseason.

The early games in this matchup were not kind to Cody. Duds from Darrell Williams and Michael Pittman have put him behind the 8 ball, but a strong showing from Indy’s defense last night has kept him in play with his big guns still to go. Tom Brady, Cooper Kupp, and Justin Jefferson form an explosive aerial attack that can quickly put games out of reach for his opponents. Injuries have necessarily made this a top heavy team, as Cody looks to come out on top in a matchup of two guys who do most of their work from the bottom.

Meade got a huge performance last night from Hunter Henry to stake him to an early lead. Trotting out a 3 RB lineup typical of this year’s playoff teams, Josh Jacobs, Gaskin, and the returning Michael Carter form a hit or miss trio. The strength of Meade’s team is undoubtedly the Aaron Rodgers to Davante Adams connection, and Meade will be looking for those two to hook up early and often to keep Cody at bay.

These two teams split their season series, with Meade winning last week to dash Cody’s hopes at the division title and a bye. The real winner of the series will be determined in Round 3.

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Rest of Season Preview

After 11 weeks and a crowning of a new Survivor champion (congrats to Olsen), we have reached the precipice of the season thus far. The second set of division games that close out the season has historically been filled with drama and intrigue and this season looks to be no different. With 11 teams still in the mix and 7 teams within 1 game of a playoff spot, the last three weeks are shaping up to be season-defining. Lets dive in with a division by division breakdown of all the action ahead.

THE EAST

Current standings

Remaining Schedule:

Week 12: So Much Honey vs. Frank the Tank, Lobster Beesc vs. Ressica Jobinson

Week 13: So Much Honey vs. Ressica Jobinson, Lobster Beesc vs. Frank the Tank

Week 14: So Much Honey vs. Lobster Beesc, Ressica Jobinson vs. Frank the Tank

This season has not seen many teams pull away from the pack, but if there’s one team that fits the bill as a title contender it belongs to [redacted]. [Redacted]’s So Much Honey squad has pulled out to a League best 8-3 record and can punch a playoff, division, and bye ticket this week, potentially becoming the first team to do so. It’s even more impressive when you consider that [redacted] has been without number one overall pick CMC for a large part of the season.

But while it certainly seems like a near certainty that [redacted] will be headed to the playoffs just a year after singing the Anthem, the last three weeks may not just be a simple coronation. Meade has battled out all season to be within just a game of [redacted], but the tiebreaker scenarios mean that Meade will have to finish the season with the better record if he’s going to win the division. That means Meade will most likely have to win out, and hope Frank or Vaf can knock off So Much Honey in weeks 12 or 13 before Meade can stun him out of the East title and likely a bye in Week 14.

Things are even more difficult for Frank the Tank’s division chances. Frank sits two games back so he doesn’t control his own destiny and will need to not only beat [redacted] this week but get some help in Weeks 13 and 14. However, if he does manage to catch [redacted] in the overall standings, he’ll end up with the better division record and wind up holding the crown. A win this week is an absolute necessity though.

Realistically, the best chance for Meade, Frank, and Vaf (his only chance) to reach the playoffs is through the crowded wild card field. Currently Meade sits in the 4 seed and Frank in the 6 seed, but neither have commanding point total leads on any of the teams chasing them. Vaf is in dire straits, likely needing to win out to have any chance of the postseason.

While every game is important at this point, the huge potential swing game is Meade and Frank’s Week 13 matchup. A Frank win would hugely boost his playoff odds and pull Meade back to the wild card pack, while the opposite result could spell doom for the Tank and seal up a postseason berth for Meade.

THE CENTRAL

Current standings

Remaining Schedule:

Week 12: 2 Feets In vs Brainbusters, Trader Jay’s vs Diamond Empire

Week 13: 2 Feets In vs. Diamond Empire, Trader Jay’s vs Brainbusters

Week 14: 2 Feets In vs Trader Jay’s, Brainbusters vs Diamond Empire

No division has taken a bigger hit in the last few weeks than the Central, with every team entering the final division slate off a loss and 3 of the 4 teams licking their wounds off 3+ straight losses. While the past month has certainly not been kind, Jacky G’s 2 Feets In squad came out of the storm with a slim 1 game division lead. The division’s current point leader with a strong 2-1 division record, Jack is certainly in a position to capitalize and make the postseason the easy way.

Right on his heels though is the free falling Brainbusters squad, that early on looked like a legitimate title contender before Derrick Henry’s injury sent him spiraling on a 4 game losing streak, dropping him not only out of the division lead but currently out of a playoff spot entirely. Henry is not expected to return before the end of the regular season, so Brian will have to find some way to plug the holes in this sinking ship if he wants to take advantage of his thus far pristine 3-0 division record and fight back into the Central’s top spot.

Also only a game behind is Trader Jay’s, but the one game deficit hides the fact that the climb is quite a bit steeper than that. Jay’s 1-2 division record and points deficit to the other two contending teams likely requires him to win out in order to claim the top division spot. All 3 teams also have the wild card route, which promises to be filled with even more chaos.

Plus, while they may thing the eliminated Diamonds gas nothing left to play for except to play spoiler, there is still the chance Diamonds can climb out of the 12 or 11 spots into the Anthem Bowl and position himself much better while dragging the rest of the division down into the muck with him.

The biggest game to watch as of right now is this week’s Jack vs Brian matchup. Jack can gain an effective two game lead in the division race (literally over Brian, while the tiebreaker advantage over Jay will be big even if he pulls off a win). Meanwhile Brian can climb back into the top spot with a win while giving himself a 2 game lead in division record over everyone else in the division. That game will tell us a lot about how the rest of the season will shake out in The Central.

THE WEST

Current standings

Week 12: Meat Mavens vs Pastrami Papi, Knights of Ryan vs Bishop Sycamore

Week 13: Meat Mavens vs Knights of Ryan, Pastrami Papi vs Bishop Sycamore

Week 14: Meat Mavens vs Bishop Sycamore, Pastrami Papi vs Knights of Ryan

The West is yet another division that’s tough to navigate, but can gain some major clarity depending on this weekends outcomes. The Meat Mavens have struggled as of late, at least compared to their hot start, but enter the final 3 games with a 1 game lead over Pastrami Papi and a 2 game lead over the other two teams. The Maven can clinch the division with a win this week and a Commish loss, but if one of those two outcomes don’t happen things get a whole lot trickier.

Mark needs a win this weekend to stay alive in the divisional race, but a loss this weekend won’t kill his overall playoff chances. But with two teams in his division a game behind him, not to mention the other two 5-6 teams in the Central and fellow 6-5 teams Frank the Tank and 2 Feets In, a loss this weekend will make it much harder for him to stay above the playoff water.

Olsen and the Commish’s matchup is another huge one for both clubs, with their playoff fates likely hanging in the balance. Olsen’s point total gives him a better chance to withstand a loss but also eliminates any margin for error or control of his own destiny, while the Commish’s low point total means he would likely need to finish clearly ahead in the standings or else put up monster point totals the final two weeks. While Olsen’s division record means he has to win out and have Ant lose out to win the division, the Commish’s clearest path to the playoffs is through the division, by winning out and having Ant drop a game this weekend or next, setting up a winner take all matchup for the division title in Week 14.

But it all comes down to this weekend’s games. Let the chaos begin.

Oh, and fuck off Cody.